In Order of Priority
by Bittersweet Romanticide
Summary: Written for MiyaToriaka's "Crazy Like You" contest. It's early, halfway through the episode of the Misty Mermaid, and Misty's got stage fright! -sarcastic gasp of horror- Can anyone crossdress and help her through this terrifying time?


**Disclaimer: Don't own Pokémon or any of the characters. It's not **_my _**fault they ditched Misty.**

**I know I should be working on other stuff, but I ran into a contest on deviantart! MiyaToriaka is the one running it, based off her picture called "Crazy like You".  
This takes place in LATE Kanto. Episode: The Misty Mermaid  
Looks like they forgot to write a few scenes. I'll write them in for those overworked cartoonists, aren't I kind?**

**(PAGE BREAK)**

It was dawn at Cerulean City, nearly seven in the morning and six hours until the show was supposed to go on. Ash, Brock, Pikachu and the three Sensational Sisters of Cerulean City watched Misty from the bleachers, seeming to mock her from their safe spot on the ground to her too high diving board where she stood, flicking a long red wig from her face. "It's stupid!" Misty cried, stomping her foot with a pout.

At least, she attempted to stomp her foot. The dramatic attempt was spoiled by the mermaid costume, tight and binding, that had made it difficult just to get up to the diving board. She had pulled herself up, with limited assistance from her sisters and two annoying boys shouting "don't choke", using only her arms. It was not until she got to the top that Daisy realized that Little Sister could have undone the costume up to her knees, then tightened it up once she got to the top. This had triggered Misty's temper, and now the furious ten and a half year old was absolutely refusing to do anything more than glare.

"Oh, like, shut up!" Daisy snapped. "It's not all that bad. I mean, like, really, so your arms hurt now, big deal! It'll build up muscles you need for swimming. Like, last thing I heard you, like, totally wanted to be a Water Pokémon Master, didn't you? You can't be a Water Pokémon Master if you can't swim strong. So, like, stop complaining and start acting! The sooner we run through this today the sooner you can, like, take the costume off and have some time to relax!"

"I didn't even want to do this Daisy! Any one of you three could've done it, why are you making me? Daisy, you could be the mermaid princess and…" Misty's eyes lit up. "Brock! Brock's a great actor, Daisy! You could have him be the prince! He would love to do it! Wouldn't you love to Brock? You get to hug my sister. You get to hug the _blonde _one. Hey, if you're really lucky we could change the script and have the two of you kiss at the end! Right, Violet?"

"Like, I'm not rewriting the script," The blue haired girl returned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you know, like, how many _times _I've done that already? Like, I'll tell you! Twice! And, like, not just a word or two! I've had to change, like, entire scenes because we don't, like, have enough actors!"

"Like, totally torture," Misty agreed sarcastically.

"Misty, why don't you just get it over with?" Ash asked with an innocent smile. "Come on! I'm not getting lunch until you're off the diving board and out of the pool! If you won't do it for your sisters, can't you at least do it for me?" He batted his eyelashes in an almost girlish manner, almost as if to foreshadow what was to come, and smiled up at her as sweet as he could. "And if you don't get off the diving board, I'll come up and push you off myself so we can get this show on the road."

"You want me off the diving board?" She snapped. "You want it, you got it, Ketchum!"

With a violent twist she slid the neatly concealed buttons on her mermaid costume off and threw the tail to the side, revealing the green swimsuit bottoms underneath. The mystical tail flew to the water with a splash, sending water pokémon and fish speeding away from the spot, and Misty soon joined it. She jumped from the platform in the perfect dive she was supposed to be doing later that evening, swam furiously to the side of the pool, and hauled herself out, striding purposefully towards the exit.

"Misty! Don't you dare lock yourself in your room! You already made your promise!" Daisy shouted, every hint of the Valley Girl gone.

For a second, the redhead froze at the older sister's authority. Then, with unimaginable resolve, she pulled the wig off and tossed it into the pool. Everyone watched it float for a minute, the boys shocked, the girls angered, and Misty serene. Slowly, the Cerulean runt pointed to the hair as it began to sink underwater. "That?" She said to them, her voice low. "That is not me. It never has been me and all of you know it. Find someone else to be your princess."

Then she stormed out, presumably up to her room where she would lock the door and, judging by the thumping, throw anything she could across her room while the rest of the group stayed in the gym. All five of them were quiet, three from rage, two from uncertainty. Though, Ash had always been good at breaking the silence and this time did so by shuffling his feet, slipping in a patch of water, and winding up flat on his back.

"Every time!" Daisy snarled the second the boy hit the pavement. "It's absolutely, like, completely ridiculous! This has _never _happened to a Waterflower before!"

The boys exchanged a look while Brock helped Ash up and brushed him off. The elder nudged the tan skinned kid, urging him to ask first. "Uh, if you don't mind me asking. What do you mean 'this has never happened to a Waterflower before'? You all seem to lose your temper an awful lot, no offense." His hands quickly went up in surrender.

"You idiot," Daisy mumbled, her temper slowing with a sigh. "I guess I, like, went parental on her. It's just, like…okay, we Waterflowers have a proud tradition to uphold! We come from a long line of singers, actresses and actors and all sorts of things to have to do with the arts. Never has a Waterflower been born without some kind of talent, and most are born with the looks. Like, yeah, Misty didn't get all the looks or all the talent, but she still, like, has some!"

Brock crossed his arms over his chest, assuming his confused position. "Alright, but I don't really see the problem. If you think she's a good actress-"

Lily blurted, "like, not just good! She's perfect for the underwater play! I mean, with all the pokémon and stuff. Not to mention she can totally hold her breath the longest! It's just…" The three sisters looked around, as if afraid Misty might walk in at any moment. "You can, like, never tell Little Sister we told you this! Swear it! Like, cross your heart and hope to die, stick a needle in your eye kind of swearing!"

"We won't tell," Ash said impatiently. "What's the big secret?"

The girls leaned closer their faces right next to the boys' ears and whispered in perfect unison, "She's got stage fright."

"What?!" The two gawked.

Ash waved his arms wildly. "You've got to be kidding me! Misty? Crazy Misty? The girl who would kill a guy for looking at her funny? She has stage fright?" The three hushed him, even though sounds of objects being pelted into the wall could clearly be heard they still seemed to think that the youngest would rush down the stairs at any moment to hear the conversation. Ash continued in a quieter voice, "Sorry, but you can't have it right! I mean, it's Misty! I've seen her be the biggest drama queen ever around us and she even got on stage once! In a _beauty _contest! She wore a _bikini_! She can't have stage fright!"

Lily blinked, "A bikini? Does she have the figure to pull it off. It wasn't _red_, was it? We, like, told her a million times she can't wear red! It totally clashes with her hair."

"Lily, fashion later! We have to put on a show!" Violet huffed. She smiled at Ash and Brock. "Sorry. Okay, here's the deal. Misty, like, can't handle the big crowds. She's fine in front of the smaller audiences, but if we've got the stadium packed…" She shook her head. "It's, like, totally doomed to fail. _But _she says she would be able to do it if she didn't always have to do something embarrassing in front of all those people. I don't really see, like, what's so embarrassing about it."

"I think it's the shell bra," Brock confided. "And, might I say, you would look lovely in that pink accessory!"

"A bra's not an accessory, that's necklaces and earrings and stuff," Ash pointed out, then blushed under the gaze of four shocked teens. "Team Rocket helped me get into a gym and, uh…this is about Misty and her stage fright, not me! Why are you all staring? Brock, stop hitting on Misty's sisters! We've got a problem to solve and we need to solve it fast! Tell me what we have to do to get her over her stage fright."

"Like, weren't you listening?" Daisy snorted. "No Waterflower has ever had it before! It's, like, weird! We don't know what to do with her! We had hoped she had gotten over it, but she's getting jittery and jumpy like she always does before a show. Like, could one of you two maybe, like, you know, help us out? I bet you could talk to her and get her over this stage fright really fast! Nothing like friends to make it better!"

"But you're her sisters," Brock pointed out. "Wouldn't you be closer to her?"

They stared.

"Oh, right," He chuckled. "So Ash, who's going to be man enough to take the challenge. You want to talk to Misty or should I?"

"You go first," Ash insisted. "Besides, it's not like it's a life or death mission!" His statement was, of course, offset by a lovely batch of irony as Misty hurled something so huge it made the entire gym shake. "Well, you're bigger, so you're definitely going first! You've got a better chance at living! Besides, I need to find out where Pikachu ran off to. Wonder what it could be doing in a place like this? Gotta go!"

"Chicken," Brock muttered at the boy's back as Ash ran, slipped, and fell face first onto the concrete as he attempted to make his escape. The girls giggled at his predicament like lovesick schoolgirls (at least to Brock's ears), and Brock muttered once more: "Babe magnet."

**(PAGE BREAK)**

(_Keeeeeetchup! Where are you keeeeeetchup? I love you keeeeetchup!_) Pikachu sang merrily as it rummaged through the Waterflowers' cabinets. As it were, the little mouse had quite a craving for some of the condiment it loved so much. It had already settled its apple craving (the Sensational Sisters would wonder the next day exactly where the food had gone) and was now in the mood for something with loads of artificial flavoring and ingredients.

"Dat ting really likes ketchup," Meowth commented.

The mouse had not been alone in its quest for food. Team Rocket was also there, hunkered down in the cabinets and eating any morsel they could find. Too hungry to risk being blasted off again, and since Pikachu obviously didn't care if they were stealing unless Ash pointed out it was wrong (or, perhaps, was too consumed in its voyage for food too care), they did not take the chance of grabbing Pikachu off the shelves and hoping it would come quietly.

"Can it and stuff your face, Meowth," Jessie hissed. "I don't want to hear you nagging about how hungry you are when you could have filled yourself up while you were here! While you're at it, how about finding us a doggy bag to wrap all this us some we can make our getaway?"

At the sound of the word 'bag' Pikachu glared at them, cheeks sparkling. "Pika, pika…" It growled.

Meowth waved his hands furiously. Seeming to forgot that his speech would go over better in pokémon, he continued in human: "Not you! De're talkin' about the food! We're gonna wrap it up and take it home, little pikapal! We're not gonna lay a single hand on your pretty little rat head, so don't worry about it. I think the ketchup's in the 'fridgerator. Take it as a small gift of our appreciation for not blastin' us off on sight like ya usually do."

It cocked its head to the side. (_You need to open the fridge for me, Meowth. It's too much work for me to blast it off the hinges like I usually do._)

"Sure ting, Pikachu! Don't need t'worry 'bout nothin'! Old Meowthy's got it all done for ya!" Meowth gulped, scuttling to the fridge and getting the bottle.

The little mouse took it a "cha'd" happily, opening the bottle and chugging.

"Pikachu! Pikachu? Where are ya, buddy?" Ash called. He sauntered into the kitchen and froze. Team Rocket was eating food. Food he was planning on having for lunch and dinner! He was filled with prepubescent rage at the thought and clenched his fists tightly. "Team Rocket! What are you doing eating all our food? Misty and her sisters are working hard to get money for the gym and now you're ruining everything! This is low, even for you!"

James swallowed, and explained, "Actually, twerp, we've done way worse than this. Remember all those times we stole pokémon and food from Pokémon Centers? That was stealing food from sick people and pokémon, and that's worse than stealing from middle class drama queens. Are you going to be in the show? It'd be so cute to see you wear tights again, Ashley. Can I do your makeup? I promise I'll do it perfectly!"

Ash blinked. "How do you say that without _any _sarcasm?"

"Get out, Brock! Get out and don't you dare send another person up here! You all can jump off a bridge for all I care! Take Ash, take my sisters, and take _yourself_ out of here and leave me alone!" Misty bellowed from upstairs. Objects were starting to tumble down the staircase, everything ranging from girlish paperweights to chairs, something Ash (and Pikachu and Team Rocket) assumed was Misty's handiwork.

Brock hit the bottom, thinking he escaped and pumping his fist in the air only to be smacked in the back of the head with a hardcover version of _The Persian, The Witch, and the Clothes Closet_. The book hit him with so much force he was hurled forward and landed face first on the ground with a moan. "Ash, I'm not going back up there. I'm taking her sisters and getting out of here before she comes out of her room! Imagine what she'll throw in the kitchen!"

Ahs shook his head at Brock's fading back, soon followed by the frantic older sisters. "Chicken," Ash chuckled.

"You know, that twerpette has some fantastic aim," James said, holding his finger up when he got a brilliant idea. "She should join Team Rocket! With a sharp shooter like her, there's no way we would ever miss a grab at Pikachu!"

Pikachu jumped to Ash's shoulder. (_Do they not realize I'm right here_?) It asked him with a sigh. The boy shrugged. (_Can I blast them, just for not noticing me? Please? I love to make the "ding" noise when they blast off. Don't you love the ding? Let's make them ding, just once! The whole day's already ruined because Misty's gonna brain you with a book because you're not out of the house yet, so why not make it a little better by blasting Team Rocket off at the speed of light? Look! It's a motto pun!_)

It was at that point that Misty strode down the stairs, and glared straight into the kitchen. "I'm going to the pool. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and say you thought that I just wanted Brock out. Well, here's your warning. I want all of you out. Immediately. I'm going swimming and I'll be back in two minutes. If the kitchen isn't spotless and you aren't gone by the time I get back, I might go insane and kill you."

"Why are you wearing a seashell bra?" James asked. "Did you find that, because I used to have one just like it and-"

She narrowed her eyes, shutting him up. "I'm having a _re-heally _bad day. Don't test me, got it, James?" The man nodded, petrified until the girl left the room with an angry swish of her almost nonexistent eleven year old hips.

Ash grinned at Team Rocket. "You know, if you can help me out with something, I won't send you blasting off this time. It's not like it's something you haven't done before. But if you tell _anyone _what I'm about to do, you better believe I'm going to send you blasting off to the stars above."

The terrible trio looked at one another, then nodded. "Deal!"

Ash grinned and spread his fingers into a V. "Awesome."

(_No ding?_)

"Sorry, Pikachu, no ding."

It snapped its little mousey fingers. (_Fiddlesticks_.)

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Misty sighed. The mermaid tail lay beside her limply and the wig was fixed on her head. She had fully dressed herself up now, the pearls draping over the back of her head, large, real red staru rubies and a purple fake coral necklace was heavy against her neck. She fingered it a moment, wondering if they were painted rocks or some kind of gemstone she hadn't heard of before. She was sure it didn't come from the ocean.

"Psyduck," The little pokémon said, floating merrily with his floaties.

"I don't see why you're so afraid of water, you dumb duck. You can _breathe _underwater. You've got gills, I swear you do, Nurse Joy even pointed them out to me! You stupid duck! Why don't you just get up the courage, let go of the floaty and swim! Even if you mess up, it doesn't matter! You can breathe underwater! You won't die if you screw up! I won't die just because a bunch of people see me acting all prissy!"

Her eyes widened and she slammed her hand over her mouth. "You didn't hear a word, did you, Psyduck?"

(_I heard lots of words. Sounds like I'm not the only chicken around here! You know, just because I can breathe doesn't make it scary. I don't have the power to swim very well, you know. One wrong wave and I'm broken on rocks! That's a bad day, believe you me! …Nobody knows a single freaking word I'm saying, do they?_)

"I'm not even sure if the other pokémon even understand you, Psyduck," Misty blinked. "Maybe you should learn to speak human, like Meowth. Ah, who am I kidding! You probably don't even have the intelligence to do it! You probably don't have the guts to try!"

(_I have a really high IQ, I swear. It's just that I come from Africa and none of the other pokémon speak my language. As for guts, we're two of the same! We both run like scared babies from our problems. That's why you're so mad at yourself, Misty. You hate being scared, but it's okay to be scared and…you know what? I'm just going to shut up because in five minutes someone else is going to walk in and tell you the same thing but you'll _understand _them and then you'll call me stupid. My life sucks.)_

"I don't have the guts to try. You're the same as me, Psyduck. We're both just running from our problems. That's why I'm so mad at myself. It's just…I hate being scared! I'm just so scared to go out there. I always got teased because I was such a tomboy and when I finally got them all to stop everyone else says I have to dress like a girl! It's just so embarrassing to have to go out there with hardly anything on! I'll be just like my sisters."

(_Oh, you told yourself. That's a bit of a twist._)

"And…what if Ash and Brock see me like this? What if they still think of me as…you know. What if I go through all this hassle, and everyone, _my sisters_, the best makeup artists in the world, try and make me pretty and they still think I'm the same stupid tomboy that followed them around because of some stupid bike."

(_Two things: One, if you could understand me, I could let you know that Ash had been standing behind you ever since you suggested I should learn to speak human. Sadly, you don't make the effort, and know you have to suffer the embarrassment. Two, do you list your friends in alphabetical order or in order of priority? I think you always say Ash first because you have a crush on him and Brock is just a friend, but I could be wrong._)

"You're completely useless, you dumb duck. Can't you help at all?"

(_I've been _trying _mermaid princess, but you don't listen. Could you tell me why your boyfriend has a cross dressing obsession?_)

"You're plenty girly, Misty. Sometimes you're so girly I can't stand it!" Ash grinned behind her, or, Ash_ley _grinned behind her. He wore an orange dress with a pink bow on top his blonde haired head. White encircled the neckline, a bright blue bow with a red center sat above his chest around the color, which he touched in an almost self-conscious manner. "Who couldn't think of you as a girl when you're all dressed up like that?"

"Ash," She blushed, tilting her head towards the water. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Since you said Psyduck should learn to speak human," Ash chuckled. "Well, Misty, aren't you gonna look at me? I figured you'd at least throw that mermaid tail at me. Maybe you'd hurl Psyduck if you were mad enough." The redhead giggled. "Ha! Got you to laugh! That means I snapped you out of your bad mood! Round one to Ash Ketchum, future Pokémon Master and pride of all of Pallet Town! No bad day can withstand my humor."

She laughed harder, shaking her head. "You're such a dork, Ash." She sobered. "And I know you're just lying because you want to make me feel better. It's sweet. You're a good friend, Ash, a real good friend. It's just…I've got to get out there and act like I'm some kind of magical princess that's all giggles and rainbows and sunshine and have the personality of a horsea when I know I've got the personality of a Gyarados and when I looked like a boy in a girl costume!" Tears stung the corner of her eyes, and she slammed her fist into the concrete. "And hitting that didn't make me feel any better! My whole stupid arm hurts now! This is all your fault, Ash Ketchum!"

Then, in front of a Lapras painted background and the bleachers that would soon be seating hundreds, he cupped her right cheek with his left hand and kissed her. No more than a peck, barely heavier than a butterfree's landing. He fell back with a flush, then grabbed her around the shoulders to keep himself form hitting his head (again) on the concrete. "There. That's plenty of proof you look plenty like a girl. And as for you acting all rainbows and sunshine and girly, well, just take a look at me and stop staring straight ahead!" Ash laughed, nervous at her reaction.

She turned to him, eyes big and only growing bigger at the shock of seeing him in a dress. "Ash, what the-"

He put a finger to his lips, grinning and winking. "I won't tell if you won't. What went on in this gym is a secret. A _permanent _secret. You better not reveal this even if you get hypnotized; that's how big of a secret this is! If you do, I'll never, ever pay you back for that stupid old back of yours."

"Oh, so that's the way it is, huh Ketchum?" She teased. "Well, I better make sure this show is so good people pay as they leave. That way I'll never have to do this ever again!"

"Sounds like a plan!" He returned.

"Oh, and Ash?" She asked. He cocked his head sideways, curious. "Thanks for the whole dress and…stuff. It's like picturing the audience in their underwear, except it'll be picturing Ash in a dress!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you don't freeze up on stage because I'm not kissing you again."

"Not ever?"

"Not ever!"

She leaned over and gave him an absolute blushing to the roots of her hair kiss on the cheek. "Looks like you lost that bet there too. If you'll excuse me, I have to go straighten up my room so when you finally get my bike back and I come back home for good I've got somewhere nice to go!" She giggled and raced off to her room, leaving Ash stuck with a hand to his cheek and a dreamy smile on his face.

"She's never getting that stupid old bike back, Psyduck. Not if she keeps doing stuff like that!" He exclaimed.

The duck sighed to itself in the floaty and began to kick its feet in an attempt to swim. (_Definitely in order of priority._)

**(PAGE BREAK)**

There you are! My fantastic creation! -sighs- Actually, it seems kind of icky but I suppose it's the best I've got. Feel free to drop a review, Lovelies, with all the corrections in the world! Always much appreciated.


End file.
